The Pendulum of Plenty

I have a collage on the shelf in front of me.  In the middle is a labyrinth with a heart center and the words "Time for What Matters." 

“Time for what Matters” has become my rallying cry and greatest teacher. 

When I feel like there's just too much in the day or the list of projects is too long, I glance up… Take a deliberate breath to steady my thoughts and begin again.

Time for what matters.... I can breathe into that with a sense of peace and renewed focus.  There's this moment of choice and the next one.  What matters right now is that I take a deliberate breath and refocus. 

Nothing I can do about the next 5 years in this breath really...

 ...and nothing is required other than to recognize the fullness of this inhale and the release of the exhale. 

There's a center of wholeness in this cycle.  A place where I can rest in having plenty of time & space.

It turns out that we talk about time in a similar way as we think about money.  (or health, or happiness, or love….)

We may veer widely from feeling like there's way too much month at the end of this paycheck… to feeling like we might splurge on those new red jeans after all. 

We may dream of wealth in the form of the villa by the sea with the perfect pasta… or we may stew in the prediction that we will need to couch-surf in our seventies because we didn't max out our 401K when the kids were little. 

And we may feel slightly (or hugely) ashamed at both ends, depending mostly on the stories we tell ourselves.

We spend too much time on the computer and we spend too much money on Amazon. We waste time and we waste money. We’re not good at managing time and we avoid or obsess about managing money.

The lizard brain spinning tales of what it all means about our value and worth in the world. Oh, the judgement of it all…

The pendulum swings from scarcity to excess with wild abandon-

… Independent of any actual dollar amount that we have.  Or don't have. Or may have if we play our cards right.

…Independent of the time actually invested….or the time spent procrastinating instead.

Often, we don't even really pay attention to anything but that swing... from the anxiety of scarcity to the smug satisfaction of excess.    Dreaming, worrying, scheming, grasping.... certain that ruin will ensue with the fervent hope that wealth is our birthright.

Perhaps we feel the same about time.  We never seem to have enough.  We lament that we don't have time for what we really want to do because there's “too much on our plates.” 

Work is just too busy.  There's not even time to eat lunch most days.  There’s not a 30-minute time slot to be found.  We’re triple-booked and sick of each other’s Zoom backgrounds.

We feel frantic and scattered and exhausted by 4 pm and simply cannot wait to turn it off.  

The real hell of it all is that we can't sleep... even after 5 hours of Netflix, something cheesy and a rather excellent Cabernet with our partner.   Even after we’ve spent the evening with the kids and gotten the laundry folded (or at least from the dryer to the pile on the chair).

There's a constant reminder of the ticker-tape “to do” list chirping in the background and the only thing that is certain is that we just.don't.measure.up. 

We talk about wanting abundance but often our craving minds interpret that as excess. 

Secretly, this excess feels like TOO MUCH to do...so we retreat to the scarcity corner just to avoid the fear of all that we need to take care of.... when most days we're just happy to be upright, clean and have something to do. 

On the other side, we become righteously convinced that the sheer volume of our productivity certainly makes us better than the guy next door who sauntered out to take a lunch with that little grin of his.  Who had the audacity to take a vacation in the middle of a work-stream sprint and who probably has a trust fund, too. (cue the lizard brain…)

What we ultimately crave is a sense of harmony & integrity…. Sometimes we say “peace,” or “balance.”

Whatever we call it- we want to know that all is well.  That we are well.  That who and what we are is enough for this moment.

We long for rest and a sense of wholeness.

I've been working with clients for years on the language of time and money- listening for the songs of scarcity and playing with possibility of plenty.  

Many of us judge ourselves and everyone else in the realms of scarcity … and even more so in the land of overabundance and excess. 

We talk about the pendulum swing from hitting the wall of scarcity to the centripetal force of excess- ALL. THE.THINGS. ALL. THE. TIME. 

Frankly, it's the length of that pendulum swing that's so depleting.  Our bodies sound the alarm in both directions.  Stress hormones crank out at zero and at full speed ahead. 

We're simply not meant to move from nothing to everything in the span of a 16-hour waking day. (yes, I’m subtracting time for sleep). 

What we are meant to do is to engage more deeply in the moments of our lives to temper the swing of that pendulum. 

To notice when we're approaching the wall of frozen exhaustion and decide how to come just a bit closer to center- with a walk, a nap, a breath, a conversation, some time in the sunshine.  

To notice when we're in the spin of overwhelm, overwork and overproduction on the other side of the swing and decide how to move just a little more into the integrity of center- with action on the one thing that matters, a thoughtful conversation, a breath, a walk, some time in the sunshine. 

What's important is the awareness of the scarcity and excess. 

There's a set point where we feel content for a moment or two before our wanting mind takes over again. 

There's some optimal area in our pendulum swing that's neither scarcity nor excess- a place that feels like "plenty.” 

Where we can rest in “plenty for now."  Words that seem to bring comfort and peace.

It's not a volume of time or money, but a sense of being whole in that moment without craving or anxiety. 

We may touch that space multiple times during the day without recognition in the haze of our autopilot lives. 

Everything changes when there's intentional engagement and cataloging exactly what matters. When we notice those moments of being in optimal movement and flow. 

This cataloging is NOT with a traditional "to-do" list- that often turns into an accounting of all the places that you are FAILING to do the right thing...

We can return to our center with a map of what's meaningful...

A map of who you are when you're feeling content in that space of plenty- where things are good, whole, and true- just for now. 

A roadmap of strengths, values and what moves you... a place where what we already have is plenty for this moment.   That’s the place that brings us back to the heart of it all.

There's a different way to approach your time & money… and the moments of your life- without the exhaustion, stress, and overproduction. 

It’s not about MORE VOLUME, but rather OPTIMAL VALUE.

This place of Plenty.