Love & Intentional Connection
Emily was sick of feeling exhausted and grouchy.
Completely over the never-ending conference calls on Friday afternoon about some inane bullshit.
She'd recently resorted to lying on her yoga mat in various versions of bridge just to pass the time- and because she could.
She couldn't remember the last time she could muster up any sense of caring about the launch of this product.
It had taken on a life of its own- one that had little to do with the original intent of helping patients manage their medications in a simple fashion.
Emily needed a well-being reset in a bad way.
One that didn't involve too much wine and pasta (not that there's anything wrong with that), but rather something that felt more like HER.
She was desperate to remember the last time she felt content instead of jumpy, anxious and slightly frumpy.
Even her feet were tired.
Fortunately, Emily knew what to do when she got to this place. It wasn’t her first rodeo.
After all, she was a pharmacist… and recognized when her own health was in jeopardy.
She was tired of the cycle of 60-hour weeks followed by Netflix and laundry-filled weekends.
Utterly sick of her own excuses about why she didn't have time.
She wisely reached out for help with one goal in mind- to focus on her own health and well-being in the middle of her busy life.
We started simple in our coaching work together.
Emily knew that her biggest longing was for deeper connection because she'd let her friendships slide during these years of working her way up the ladder.
So we started a mind-mapping exercise of all of the ways that she might bring more intentional connection into her life- in ways that sounded like a fit for her.
Book clubs were out because she felt pressure to annotate and didn't want to add groups in the evenings.
She had a group of college friends that she kept in touch with on Facebook- but hadn't seen in years.
She belonged to a couple of professional women's groups at work and hadn't really made much effort to get to know anyone there.
There was also a group at the gym that she was friendly with- smiling in sweaty solidarity at the completion of Funk Fusion.
Her best friend had moved to another town and had young children. They had drifted apart as Emily had trouble finding time to make the trip to see her. She had met a few people at a hiking meetup but stopped going because it just seemed like one more thing on the list.
What she loved the most was a retreat that she had attended with a couple of pharmacist friends from work where they were off-site and focused on the bigger picture of what they wanted from their careers and lives.
I watched Emily's face carefully during this exploration, looking for a smile or some sparkle. I listened to her words as she considered options.
Her face was aglow when she described that magical retreat and awash with longing to reconnect with her college friends.
Emily longed for VALUE in friendships. Not VOLUME. She wanted more DEPTH and EXPLORATION.
Her strengths of Curiosity and Zest needed some time in the sunshine.
I asked her what type of connection would feel the most nourishing to her heart.
What kind of outreach would bring the kind of depth that she craved?
Without hesitation she knew reaching out to two of her college friends was her top priority.
She wanted to be with friends who could help her remember who she used to be before work took over her life.
She wanted to see if they could relate since they were also balancing busy careers and families.
She committed to setting up a Zoom call specifically to talk about whether these old friends wanted to explore getting together in person. this quarter. She knew they would jump at the chance.
It also felt really easy to invite one of her gym acquaintances to coffee.
We agreed to start with the goal of connecting to one person per week for conversation about something other than work. Emily wanted to ask her new friends to tell her about their lives and about what made them happy.
We closed the session with Emily bubbling over at the prospect of feeling connected to other women.
When we met in a couple of weeks, Emily was amazed at how much difference that simple deliberate practice had made in her overall sense of happiness.
She had much to report.
She had coffee with her gym friend and found out that she was an avid hiker. They had agreed to a Sunday morning hike at sunrise and it was magical. Even the cookies they had for breakfast felt right.
She had also talked to her two college friends and they were exploring a weekend in a nearby town with cool restaurants and live music.
Emily described feeling more balanced and WAY less anxious. She was also sleeping more soundly.
She was excited about exploring getting to know that hiking group again and had found one that fit into her schedule without feeling like a burden.
Emily was finding her tribe again.
She was also feeling jazzed about work again in ways that she hadn't in a long time- actually contributing ideas in the team meeting to launch this product with new features that the client test group loved!
She hadn’t been bored in a single conference call because she was only going to the ones where her contribution mattered. What a concept!
It's funny what a difference that one simple decision can make.
The decision to prioritize love & intentional connection can have such a profound impact and it's often one of the quickest ways to get back in touch with longing and meaning in life.
Too often we make excuses for lack of time, too much work, other fires burning.... when it's what our spirits need most to reestablish that sense of who we are in the world and what matters to us most deeply.
Love & Intentional Connection was the initial spiritual well-being strategy that worked for Emily to kick-start her well-being journey.
What about you?
Are you making space for deeper connection in your life?
What's your favorite way to cultivate love & Intentional Connection in YOUR life?
