On being “Perfectional”

Yesterday, a friend of mine was talking about the need to be professional in an interview this week.  I misunderstood and thought she said “PERFECTIONAL.”  What a wonderful word– perfectionism and professionalism all tied up in a neat bundle. It broke my heart a little!

100% of the first several decades of my life captured in one word…Ouch.

Living up to our own press

“Perfectional” pretty well sums up how we spend SOOOO much time making sure we APPEAR we have it all together.   Living up to the press release of who we’re SUPPOSED to be.

The “Compare and Despair” Response

CARING SO much about how we come across or how we measure up.  We COMPARE.   We DESPAIR.  AND we find ourselves grumpy and out of sorts– wondering why we’re not having any FUN anymore?!

Sometimes we start believing our own BS- that we CAN’T make a mistake, that we might FAIL or that we just AREN’T _______ (insert smart, thin, rich, connected, committed…etc.) ENOUGH to get it right.

Responding with MORE

So, we DO MORE, CRAVE MORE, and PUT MORE on the schedule.   We run harder and faster and longer … AND it’s still not ENOUGH.  The stress of it ALL piles on layer by layer.  We can feel the WEIGHT of it- crushing, confining and closing in. 

What we CRAVE

What we FORGET is that everyone– (even that radiant even-toothed smile girl in the elevator)- is carrying around that same bullshit weight.

We all crave DROPPING our PERFECTIONAL suit of armor and just SHOW UP as we really are– with all our weird wants, needs and longings.  We CRAVE the TIME to STOP proving that we’re worthy of our own attention.

Taking time to ASK

• Where and when are you/I striving for “perfectional?”

• Where/When/With whom do you/I show up as you think you/I should be instead of as you/I are?

• How would you/I rather spend time that matters more?

I don’t know about you, but I’m giving “perfectional” a rest this week. 

Maybe take a walk in the sunshine in the middle of the afternoon just because I want to- probably wearing tie-dyed yoga pants and my favorite gray t-shirt.  I hope you will, too!