Stop Checking Your Heart at the Door

Ever have one of those days (months, years, or decades) where you feel like you’re living someone else’s life?  Ever lose sight of the “why” of your work, other than bringing in personal income or being on a great team? 

The Dark Night of the Soul

I’d guess that many of us have felt this way at different times and in different ways.  There’s usually at least one dark night of the soul where we wonder why we’re working so hard and running so fast- like maybe we missed the memo on what we really wanted.

What we long for

So, we vow to take a vacation to clear our heads or dream of changing jobs.  Unfortunately, that’s not usually enough.  What we long for is to work and live in a way that’s consistent with who we are and what we value- to be the same person at home and at work.   Sometimes we forget who that is or don’t take time to define it at all.

We lose ourselves bit by bit

We lose that sense of who we are bit by bit- when we don’t keep promises to ourselves and our families, each time we say yes when we mean no.  We sacrifice our health and wellbeing thinking that’s what’s required to be a high performer. (P.S. It’s not required and it’s not sustainable).  We put up walls so that no one can see how deeply exhausted and depleted that we sometimes feel. 

The Physical Muddy Joy of it all

All of us have that story of when we felt like we were on top of the world- usually when we were kids- usually when we weren’t worried about how cool we were or what we were wearing.  At that point, all we knew was that we needed to show up, ask what position was open and play hard.  We can remember how that felt- the physical (often muddy) joy of it all.

The Wake-up call

We long for this same simplicity now- to show up, find out where we fit and play hard.   Sometimes we are moving too fast to show up- even for ourselves.  Other times, we’re not playing on the right field or just phoning it in instead of bringing our A game.  That’s the wake-up call.

Deeply Aligned with What Matters

So, what we’re really asking for, at a deeper level, is alignment.  We want the best fit- in integrity with what matters deeply to us.  Our body, mind and spirit are all engaged, and we don’t check our heart at the door.

Ideally, that alignment will match up with the company’s values and with your particular brand of strengths (and if not, there’s a great exploratory mission).  That’s when we shine- when we’re clear on why our work matters to those that we love and serve. 

We Know Who We Are

We can feel that kind of alignment in a very visceral sense- just like muddy play of childhood.  We know who we are and what we stand for when we’re working from that place of integrity. We also know when we’re not.  We can feel the difference.

Our Body & Heart know when we’re out of alignment

My clients and I often work from an Aligned Engagement roadmap that considers character strengths and the values they hold dear.  It creates a great visual of what matters deeply so that they put themselves on the front burner when reinventing the work and life they truly desire. 

Then we practice from there to notice what feels like alignment and what feels like the wheels coming off. 

The body and heart know the difference.  We must learn to listen.