The Gift of Balanced Effort

Ever feel like you just can’t keep running at this pace?

Like you’re way too close to hitting the wall?

That’s exactly how one of my clients felt recently- juggling two kids, a home, work at a health clinic… oh, and going back to pharmacy school after a career as a teacher.

She had just hit. the. wall. Exhausted, depleted … with WAY TOO MUCH on her mind and EVEN MORE on her schedule.

On top of that, she was just mentally beating herself to a pulp. Running that age-old story of how she should be doing more, should be better and should have figured this out by now.

That was topped off with a HUGE dose of expecting to make straights As, run every day and cook healthy dinners for her kids. Every night. In between soccer practices.

In short, she felt like she just wasn’t “good enough” anywhere.

OUCH! It made my head spin (and hers too).

The Opposite of Perfect- a new anthem

I gently asked her whether it was really true that she should be able to do all of these things perfectly everyday…. and if that was what brought her the most happiness and satisfaction.

She laughed- a bit ruefully- and said she REALLY didn’t want to be perfect anywhere at all. It was just too much.

What she WANTED was to spend more time having FUN with her kids and the husband she adored. She WANTED to go for a run because it made her feel FREE and ALIVE- not because she wanted to check it off her exercise list.

She LOVED working in the clinic because she was helping people in the real world. And she acknowledged that she was just as happy whether she made those straight As or not.

It was one of those game-changer conversations where things became so clear for her and strategy flowed from there. So we came up with the catch phrase- BALANCED EFFORT- so she could remember what was most important to her.

It stopped her from pulling all-nighters to chase those magic straight As and put herself to bed instead. It helps her to carve out Saturday morning for beach-walking with the kids and date nights with her beloved.

I love this phrase “balanced effort” (and the sign in the photo that she commissioned to sit within view at her desk).

It’s a GREAT reminder to acknowledge where the inner perfectionist is driving the bus – usually over a cliff of unattainable results. Where we’re over-striving, over-giving, over-doing, over-perfecting.

Explore Balanced Effort for Yourself

So as we start this New Year… full of plans, dreams, hopes and goals, “balanced effort” is a reality check for all of us.

Here are some focus questions that are helpful to guide the exploration:

Where do you want to engage more deeply in your life?

Where are you doing too much for too little value in return?

Where could you ask for help, delegate, reschedule or renegotiate?

Where is your opportunity to use the Strategy of Balanced Effort?