What do YOU want?
The Question that changed Everything
What do YOU want? It was a gentle question asked in a thoughtful way by a dear friend and mentor.
I had earnestly been describing plans for the upcoming year with a mind map that had WAY too many spider arms on it. Telling her all about the team and our goals and metrics.
She listened politely and asked me where I was on this artful map- you know, my own desires for the next year.
The question hit me like a ton of bricks.
No SPACE for ME
There was no space for ME in my own map- one that I had created so thoughtfully.
Sheepishly, I admitted that I hadn’t really thought about that.
And I couldn’t answer the question.
The Grind of Autopilot
How often do we RACE through our days from meeting to meeting… task to task… putting out fires all day long?
How often do we congratulate ourselves for keeping all the balls in the air? Secretly proud of our ability to HANDLE all the urgent priorities with apparent ease to the outside world.
AND secretly AFRAID that the house of cards could fall at any second because we just can’t keep up this pace forever.
AFRAID that we’re never going to shake this feeling of disconnection and missing out on our lives. Afraid that this misery-fueled autopilot is all there is.
STRIVING for Value
It’s part of our culture to DO more and it’s how we STRIVE to demonstrate our value to the world. We LOVE checking things off our “to do” lists so we can feel a little hit of accomplishment- that tiny moment of feeling OK.
Until something happens and the wheels start to come off the bus.
Like say, a pandemic… job loss… a health scare… a child in trouble… those things that force us to (FINALLY) STOP.
CLAIMING time and space for what MATTERS
Sometimes, we need a thoughtful question that pierces the veil of our habitual autopilot lives so we remember what we truly value and what really matters.
If nothing else, 2020 has been a forced pause.
Because nothing is the same, we have opportunity REFRAME this pause into POSSIBILITY to claim time and space for what REALLY matters.
Because nothing is the same, we have the GIFT of asking ourselves “What do I really want?” “What do I long for?” “What’s truly meaningful to ME?”
And allow to allow ourselves the space to hear our own answer.
Putting myself back on my own schedule
I know that when I asked those questions, everything shifted. It took some focus and deliberate attention to put myself back on my own schedule.
It took some soul searching so that I could align with what really matters to ME in Life + Work.
It took some habit change to shed layers of meaningless stress-fueled “to-dos.”
What an utter RELIEF to stop hustling for an external definition of success and focus on MEANING instead.
The Value of my own time
Does that mean that I don’t take on projects defined by or important to someone else? Not at all. That’s just the work of our lives.
Does it mean that I never have to work late or feel stress? Of course not.
But I recognize the value of my own time and I know how to bring myself back to feeling centered again.
Engaging with clarity and purpose
It means that I engage with clarity and purpose in what is important and most essential.
It means that I say no to things that are out of alignment with my deepest values.
It means that I say yes to what means the most to me.
Oh, and now I can answer the question- What do YOU want?
What do I want?
I want MORE love & intentional connection, more movement in my day, more creativity & passion and a hell of a lot more play & fun!
I want MORE time for meditation and paying attention.
More FOCUS on mindful nourishment with healthy yummy food cooked in my kitchen.
I want MORE time for learning & curiosity just because it fascinates me.
MORE time spent well in beautiful places & spaces- like the wooded park down the road and those mountain trails that call me.
I want dedicated time and space for the spirituality & ritual that ground our home in ways that have carried us through 2020.
MORE intentional focus on rest and renewal for our weary journey this year.
I want this work & contribution to be MEANINGFUL to those I love and serve.
Finally, I want to carve out deliberate space for gratitude for it all.
THAT is the meaning of it all for me.
Reclaim YOUR own time
If you’re craving time and space in your own calendar to take stock of what matters most to YOU, I’d be honored to guide you.
Feel free to set up an Aligned Engagement discovery call to explore further.
If you’re ready to dig a little deeper into your own sense of overwhelm and disconnection, then start with my Aligned Engagement Practices download to do some excavating into where you’re out of balance and what you long for.
Reclaim space for what matters to YOU in Life + Work.
